Freedom in Retirement Turns into a Loss of Purpose & How She Found her Passion

A woman who had recently retired, explained how she initially enjoyed the feeling of being on a vacation, with no routine or time restrictions.

However, after time passed, she felt a sense of loss - Of identity, relationships, purpose, achievement and meaning. She started to feel low and 'stuck' and even began to become very anxious about her own mortality.

We discussed different areas of her life which she wanted to change and creatively unpeeled the layers to become more self-aware of her authentic self. Using questionnaires we identified what was meaningful and mattered. We set goals in Coaching and she started to reframe and re-invent how she now wanted to live her life and who she wanted to be. We used Solution focused Brief therapy, which included imagining her preferred future.

“Women don't grow old, they just discover themselves” or as Carl Jung said:                                                                

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are”

We discussed ways on how to manage her anxiety and helped to reframe and consider focusing more on excitement and enthusiasm, hope and solutions. Changing unhelpful labels of retirement from to where she was hoping to move to…She learnt resilience skills to face the challenges ahead and started seeing possibilities and the freedom to choose how to respond to given situations and feel safe to make changes.

We discussed some existential approaches and my quote..” If you face your own mortality, you can live life with more vitality”

Hypnotherapy was able to help her get into a relaxed state, where her unconscious mind was able to take on, the positive suggestions that she had created, to help change unhelpful and unwanted behaviours.

She learnt other approaches to help her get back in to a routine, including multiple daily practices, such as mindfulness, nature journal writing, exercise, some new learning/ reading, Qigong and voluntary work and having a project. She started foraging , as I gave her info on herbs and she started to safely know which plants she could use for self-care. This all helped to ignite her passion and interests and feel connected, with a sense of belonging to her community and feeling part of something bigger.

A client came with psoriasis.
Her condition started after experiencing a traumatic bereavement.

I have seen other clients where their conditions have been exasperated by stress. These have included IBS, tension headaches, digestive issues, and insomnia. 

The sessions involved a range of approaches and we worked together, so that we both could be curious, reflect, explore, delve deeper if helpful and be proactive to find creative ways to implement any required change.

As Carl Jung said,  

“Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul be just another human soul”

A topical herbal ointment, a calming herbal tea and an internal individually made up herbal formula for her 'condition', but also included herbs to help support her as a person, so 'adaptogen’ and 'nervine'  herbs to help with stress and stamina and loss. I also looked at her Iridology constitution and discussed nutrients and other naturopathic approaches, including hydrotherapy and a liver cleanse, when she was better able to cope.

She was keen to re-connect with nature and we did some of the sessions in the garden.
Apart from showing the herbs she was having in her formulas, being and doing some exercises in nature, including writing and mindfulness, was part of the healing process.

Holistically, we discussed many different Stress/Anxiety management coping strategies to see which would work for her.
This included recording a Hypnotherapy audio which she listened to at home to reinforce positive suggestions on an unconscious level. This involved the use of NLP and we also discussed how to challenge certain unhelpful thinking styles and beliefs (linked to CBT).  This enabled her to learn self-hypnosis and relaxation techniques to help relax much more easily, deeply and efficiently too.

We also used visualisation techniques and EMDR to find her safe place and personal resources and help to process some of the negative feelings associated with a past stressful event. We were able to discuss what was now more meaningful in her life, linked to the evidence based research about the different types of meaning linked to improved Wellbeing. We even started to discuss her existential Life philosophy or Framework, via coaching, so as to help her live her life aligned to her values. This also involved using the Rickter scale process to identify her priorities for change and was a useful tool to review progress. We found some relevant and helpful therapeutic interventions to help discuss feelings around her bereavement. Also, I offered some careers advice, as we also discussed various alternative work options, as she felt 'stuck’ in her present work role and was unhappy with the lack of a work/life balance. She wanted to explore what really mattered to her now and so develop self-compassion/acceptance/ efficacy skills. 

She found that to end some of the sessions, the hands on Indian head massage and Reflexology taster session helpful, so as to switch off and be ready to carry on with her day. Sometimes, she chose to wander around the herb wild garden, before she went home.

The combined approach enabled her to manage her stress and anxiety, with using a range of techniques and her psoriasis lessened too.
She became more accepting of the past and no longer experienced the raw, negative emotions.
She started to do more daily, meaningful activities and felt she now had more confidence, resources and choices, to help her deal with life challenges and so move forward.